I cleaned and organized the studio this week, moving things around a bit. This portrait sketch landed in an otherwise empty frame on the shelf and ended up changing my whole outlook.

I had been getting inside my head too much - in a way that was limiting. Fear and resistance had overtaken my studio time. Putting this one portrait sketch in a frame and displaying it on a shelf sparked a complete mind frame shift.

I created this back in 2018 when I was sick all day (thanks to pregnancy) and small sketchbook art was all I could handle. I have a few portraits from those days I really love and this one has been hanging in the studio since. Setting her off in a chick, sophisticated frame elevated the sketch, and something about her sitting on the shelf looking so sure of herself stirred something in me. I started to look around the house at the art I don’t always share and keep for myself………a lot of what I keep is different than what I offer out in the world. Although, there are several pieces (like these four) humbly gracing the walls of collectors that I would have loved to have kept for myself instead.

I took an extra long break after the Christmas season this year, and as I got back into the studio, I really started diving in and thinking about what I love most about my art and the process. How is that different? I wasn’t trying to read everyone else’s brain and think about what they love. It’s a game-changer really, I can’t get inside their head anyway.

I did a portfolio review with Deeann Rieves who asked questions and gave prompts that forced me to think about and look at my work differently. I’ve always struggled to articulate my art into a visually cohesive story which has also held me back a bit.

I believe I’m beginning to see now that I was getting in my own way, changing the story line. Like those books we had in grade school where you can pick which ending to read and get a different outcome.

I look around at these pieces I’ve kept for myself and realize I love them because they hold something a bit more personal. The common ground between these paintings is that each piece was created for the process. For the love of working with my hands, creating something out of nothing, for the challenge of figuring out how to get my thoughts and emotions onto canvas. I made them with the mentality that I didn’t care if they turned out terrible because I didn’t have to show it to anyone or put it up for sale. They were created for the love of making art, just me and the process (and some music); without the noise that gets in my head from the undue pressure I create for myself.

I think back to the beginning of this journey, when I first dusted off the paintbrushes. It was just me and the paint in that sectioned off, quiet, unfinished corner of the basement. Before I was thinking about social media posting, content creation and marketing. Alone with the freedom to explore and express as I created art. That is the art I want to get back to. It’s a harder place to get to, harder to share and it’s much more vulnerable.

With that in mind, as I move forward with the collections I’ve planned for 2021, I’m clearing the calendar and slowing it down. I’m committing instead to focus on getting to that place where my mind is free to land in that magical balance where curiosity and expression take place; where there’s no fear of failure and in the process of letting that fear go, excitement and discovery happen. I’ll continue to share the process along the way, but I won’t be bogged down with feeling the necessity of sharing the process.

I had collection releases planned out for the year, maybe they’ll happen, maybe they won’t. Exactly one year ago in February 2020 I started painting flowers. The florals were a response to the short, cold and dark days of winter that were dragging on. I needed color and sunshine. So I painted it. And then I spent almost an entire year painting flowers, evolving into a looser, more semi-abstract style.

Deeann suggested in my consult to take my favorite floral and paint the same color scheme, pull the same elements and use the same techniques but to apply that to a landscape. I have a deep love of landscapes and that direction seems like it would make the most sense next. But, for reasons I can’t explain, I’m feeling a draw to take my figure and dancer sketches from the past and use them to propel into a study on the figure.

The original plan was to release a collection in March. But that’s pretty soon and I doubt I can get there with this new frame of mind. Rather than rush it, I’m already prepping myself to accept that I’m going to miss that deadline. But the payoff will be a beautiful collection that allowed a learning and growth that will help define my art, rather than a rushed collection. Maybe I’ll hit a stride and the paintings will flow and I’ll have a collection by March.I love it when that happens! But I’m not counting on it.

I have a lot of ideas for various subjects taking what I learned from the florals last year and building on that. I’m excited to dive in! And if you’ve read this far - thank you for coming along with my story. Here’s a sneak peak of the figure study, the sketch from a few years ago and the (work in process) painted version. Not all figures will be off those sketches, but it’s a starting point.

Find me on Instagram where I share behind the scenes of the process in my stories.

A Mind Frame Shift.....All From Framing Art